Thoughts from my journal I offer to all.
Longing must linger; it must be given air. Without air, the soul cannot breathe. Longings that are not allowed to linger in the heart are all too often smothered by ambition or buried beneath the burdens of responsibility. Lingering is unhurried, neither forced nor coerced.
Lingering is the language of discovery. It is the unremarkable yet intentional choice to wander without worrying about where the stroll may take me. For you see, in lingering I have no certain destination but to be near Him.
Lingering is different from the kind of seeking that always feels pushy and demanding, always examining, always looking for evidence of progress. I want to seek God with all my heart, but I need not turn every moment with Him into a measure of how far I have come.
Oh, the years I have spent pursuing Thee in my own strength! How easily pride turns even my desire for God into another demand upon myself. Wither and die, you strangling vine of pride; I have no time for your relentless demands. I prefer to linger in the longing—that yearning, that insatiable desire I have to be with the One who loved me first.
I cannot provide a map or explain all the ways He works in my heart. Can a toddler tell you why its mother and father love it? Yet the child knows it is loved.
In a world of instant information and instant opinion, I can easily develop a lifestyle of deciding on “next steps” along my path of progress. But I need not make a plan out of every moment I spend with God. God cannot be reduced to something I discover by following a method. He has made Himself known, and I can come to know Him.
When I linger in the longing without any agenda of my own, He just might surprise me with a gem of wisdom. Yet I don’t come here seeking wisdom. I come here, in this moment, not to pursue anything of my own, but simply to be with Thee. I just want to linger in the longing of Your presence.
As I linger, this alone will I ask:
“Why would a God as powerful and magnificent as You love one as frail as me?”
Such love I cannot comprehend—but I will linger in the longing. And when it is time to rise and go on, I can press forward, knowing Christ has already taken hold of me (Philippians 3:12).
My Love to All,
